I’m gonna spell this out: if you’re trying to be “trans inclusive” when describing your sexual orientation and you reduce people to their genitals by saying stuff like “I’m attracted to people with vulvas”, you’re being transphobic, objectifying, fetishizing, and disgusting. (And transmisogynist specifically, because oh hey, there’s a fair number of trans women who consider their built-in genitals to be pussies, cunts, vulvas, clits, etc, but that’s obviously not what’s meant by people who say crap like this)
Why is this objectifying, fetishizing, and disgusting? (If I have to explain to you further why it’s transphobic, just unfollow me right now and do us both a favor) It’s objectifying, fetishizing, and disgusting to talk about people like this because there are people with that genital shape who don’t even want their genitals called “vulvas,” much less touched or looked at or fantasized about in any way typically associated with “vulvas”. There are people with that genital shape who are vehemently cock-identified, who have sex exclusively via penetration of others, and who want genital surgery. The way a person fucks or wants sex may have nothing whatsoever to do with (grossly cissexist) notions of how genitals work and what they should be labeled.
It’s fetishizing to assume you know how someone with any particular genital shape or ASAB has sex. It’s objectifying to reduce someone’s identity to their genital shape. And fetishizing and objectifying others is a disgusting way to behave.
Please do the world a favor and grow the fuck up.
When trans women refer to their penises as “big clits” it’s beyond offensive to females who were actually born with big clits, some of whom had their clits removed/surgivally altered non-consensually as infants in order to “fix” them. Under patriarchy, being born female with a big clit is a huge and potentially dangerous social liability.
In contrast, under patriarchy being born with a penis is a huge social head start. All trans women were born with penises, and raised as little boys. That means that on average, trans women were raised with male privilege. We were certainly not raised as females, and subject to the medical abuse and ignorance that actual females with actual big clits were. So please think before you spout this ignorant, female-hating bullshit.
I agree with you that we probably shouldn’t be making assumptions about how trans and gq people like to have sex based on the shape of their genitals. But let’s be real: a person’s internal feelings about their genitals don’t change reality. Did it make it “not rape” when Dana McCallum raped their ex-wife, because Dana thought of their penis as a vagina? Seriously, how do you think Dana’s ex would feel about that argument? Fuck no!
Women have an absolute, 100%, unequivocal right to say "No thanks" to a trans woman’s penis. No woman is under any obligation to give a trans woman a blow job! Or muff the trans woman, or whatever the fuck they’re into. And don’t bother to retort “That’s not what I personally am into sexually”, or “that’s not what I mean.” You argument is clearly that women who won’t have sex with trans women and their penises are transphobic. So let me say this as plainly as possible: Males shaming women into having sex with them is the DEFINITION of rape culture. It doesn’t matter if the male is a trans woman, and it doesn’t make it ok if it’s a fab person making this argument.
I know that being trans and experiencing sex dysphoria can put us into a lot of pain. But please try to think more carefully about the impact of your words.