How to be a Complete Dick and Alienate People


The Twitterer known as @modesofsnuggle (whom, I am sure, is a perfectly lovely, liberal-minded and fair individual) has been waging a Twitter war. Let his words speak for themselves:

Woah! Let’s stop there. He’s pretty pissed. What could be doing this? Well, I’m afraid much of this is gonna be a copy and paste from the event on Facebook and then I’m going to give you my thoughts on this, as a transwoman.

Here’s the mission statement of this event, scheduled for 9am on May 24 2014:

"Hey social justice activists!

Are internet flamewars bumming you out?

Do interactions on social media sometimes make you feel like you’ve entered a fighting pit?

We’re tired of the lightless heat, too. That’s why Women’s Liberation Front (WoLF) has arranged for a public dialogue on two of the most controversial issues facing modern feminism, abolishing prostitution and ending gender.

On Saturday May 24 we will honor Memorial Day weekend with a political ceasefire and call for the opening of peace talks. In the spirit of honest, respectful engagement, you are invited to come ask radical feminists any questions on these subjects you may have wanted to ask but were too intimidated by rancorous internet interactions.

Please join us for what will be a thought-provoking day for everyone who wants clarification on what radical feminists really think about prostitution and gender.

This event is open to the public, but you do need to pre-register by emailing

Visit our website ( to see the schedule, read panelist bios, and submit questions to be answered by the panelists!”

What is so offensive about this? I have no idea, but I’d like to emphasise a couple of parts:

"We’re tired of the lightless heat, too. That’s why Women’s Liberation Front (WoLF) has arranged for a public dialogue on two of the most controversial issues facing modern feminism, abolishing prostitution and ending gender.

On Saturday May 24 we will honor Memorial Day weekend with a political ceasefire and call for the opening of peace talks. In the spirit of honest, respectful engagement, you are invited to come ask radical feminists any questions on these subjects you may have wanted to ask but were too intimidated by rancorous internet interactions.”

I love the 19th century philosopher John Stuart Mill. Fair enough, his writing style is more arid than the Gobi Desert, but he was a brilliant thinker who was progressive, brave and years ahead of his time, 

In 1869, Mill wrote an essay ‘On the Subjection of Women' which went completely against the prevailing attitude within Victorian and mainland European society as to convention of the roles of men and women in society. He was a vocal and active campaigner for the rights of women, yet acknowledged that by making women free, this would achieve the same for men too.

Mill was a free thinker who believed in the freedoms of opinion and speech. He was virulently anti-censorship. In 1859’s ‘On Liberty’, Mill encourages the reader to think about how popular opinion, or convention, may be wrong (Mill knew the value of dissent!). He acknowledged that a good reason to debate popular opinion is that, of course, it may be wrong (think also of ‘the argument from majority’),

He argued that if popular opinion is not debated, it becomes a dead dogma: if truth is held merely as a prejudice, people will not understand it and so be unable to argue against it. Crucially, dissent keeps truth (and ideas) alive: if you can’t defend your position, you don’t know what it means.

Freedom of speech was incredibly important to Mill, even to the point of him stating that it is wrong to deny people the freedom of speech and opinion, even when they are wrong. Denying the freedom to express an (incorrect) opinion also silences those who hold the correct opinion and are in the right. In his own words, it robs “the human race, posterity as well as the existing generation.”

Why is suppressing ideas hurtful? Well, the first reason, of course, is that people are fallible and corrigible, the ‘correct’ opinion may be wrong and no human being has the right to decide something for everyone else, no matter how confident an individual may be that they are right. Ignoring this could silence good, valid ideas.

So, our Tweeter @modesofsnuggle is behaving in a very odd way for someone who thinks he is so keen to defend the rights of a group of people (trans people) is rather dangerously flirting with fascism. Instead of grasping the offered olive branch and using this opportunity wisely to engage in open, honest and constructive debate, he’s trying to shut this debate down before it even starts.

The behaviour of people like @modesofsnuggle who wish to silence a group of people they disagree with (in this case radical feminist women) is a threat to the very people he is seeking to defend and is dangerous and misguided.

It seems like a lot of the worst rhetoric against so-called TERFs comes from non-trans “allies” like modesofsnuggle.

To the “allies” who behave like this, I just want to say: thank you for caring about trans women, but please let us handle this ourselves. As a male who lives as a man, the best way for you to support women and trans women is to not get involved in issues which don’t effect you.

Radical feminists are not making hate speech when they point out that trans women commit violent crime at the same rate as all males, that some trans women have the same unreconstructed rape mentality as any heterosexual bro who feels entitled to fuck any woman he wants, or that trans women as a class experience male privilege until they transition. I’m a trans woman, and I agree with all of those statements!

On the contrary, maab trans activists routinely make rape and death threats against faab women who voice unpopular opinions like “penis isn’t a female organ”. Very, very few trans women and trans allies ever call out trans activists on this behavior.

In a world where violence against women born female is epidemic, it is NEVER ACCEPTABLE to advocate physical violence against people born female, or to advocate censorship of people born female who want to discuss their own physical safety with other people born female. I am a trans woman, and I fully support the right of women born female to have female-only space. Please be my ally in supporting people born female!

(Reblogged from ommadusk)

Anonymous asked: Some thoughts on avoiding burnout: Write about what you want to write about rather than reacting to current events and debates. Limit the amount of time you spend on tumblr. Take breaks from tumblr. Don't answer asks (ironic, right?). Post some happy stuff.

Anon, this is a lot of good advice. I just want to be clear: I have a VERY active life outside of tumblr, both socially and professionally. You may have noticed that I basically wasn’t posting anything for most of March: it’s because I was really busy with work. I eat a lot of vegetables and get a lot of exercise, and make sure to take care of myself in other ways irl.

I try to limit my engagement with trans activists who are fully under the spell of transgender fundamentalism because they aren’t able to have open discussions about most of these issues. Just endless circular rants that they have always been female, it’s “cissexist” for me to say that being born with a penis makes you male, trans women never commit violence, TERFs are violent, etc. None of these points actually make any sense, which is why arguing with them more than once is pointless - they clearly don’t care about objective reality, and don’t have any political perspective.

On the other hand, it’s important to me to engage with them as best I can because I don’t see any other way to turn this conversation around. And it took 20 years for it to get this crazy, so it will probably take a decade at least before it goes back to reality.

I post a very very limited amount of off-topic stuff on here because I don’t want to clutter up my blog. For example, I LOVE queenthingy’s writing but I can’t follow her because of all the fandom reblogs. I just don’t have time to wade through them. I wish she would make a separate blog that was only politics! But what has happened to my blog is it’s cluttered up with conversations. I keep saying I’m “planning” to fix this but I haven’t gone back to actually do it yet. It keeps turning into a bigger and bigger project! ;)

I actually do quite a bit of curating on asks. Note to readers: if I don’t answer your ask, it may be because I agree and have no further comment, it may be because I completely disagree and don’t want to fill up my blog, or it may be because it’s an exceptional ask and I need a while to think about it before I answer.

As always, thanks for reading and being part of this discussion!

snowflakeespecial asked: Hi! why don't you read some of my personal writing about being transsexual, and then try engaging with me again after you've faced the fact that me disagreeing with transgender politics doesn't automatically make me a sockpuppet. Thanks! snowflakeespecial tumblr com/post/56729093528/for-new-readers-here-are-links-to-my-most-well-thought


I’ve read this sort of shit over and over again and forgive me for being sceptical. TERFs and their allies aren’t just critical, they’ve done some really scary things. Picking up on right wing/ex gay news stories like the one about Jane Doe, Colleen Francis etc. and not doing their own fact checking - TERFs are habitually dishonest and I’m sorry your self loathing has lead you to side with some of their viewpoints. One of my problems with you is that your name is in of itself problematic and shaming people for their identities. “Special snowflake” is regularly used to shame non-binary trans* people and apparently, trans people in general. When you set off to have this sort of dumb bravado and general edginess, you’re looking for a fight. I am an assertive, sometimes kinda punk rock transfeminist activist but I don’t base my identity around pissing you off.

On a fundamental level while I acknowledge some differences with cisgender women(I AM a feminist activist, and have campaigned for reproductive rights etc.) that need to be recognised I don’t buy that transwomen are not “female”, nor do I think that female only spaces, let alone trans-exclusive female only spaces are the way forward. And cases of “man in a skirt goes into public toilets to abuse women” are so amazingly rare. Cases of trans people being abused in bathrooms are not quite as much. I do not buy the “male privilege” argument either. I think that male socialisation can have some effects but I also think it’s ludicrous to create such a strong binary between male and female socialisation especially when some females can be raised in a misogynistic and damaging manner that then causes them to propogate patriarchal ideals, versus boys raised in a more feministic environment who do not. I do not believe in gender essentialism, in general, and I don’t think there is an absolute divide between genders at all - I think sexism and patriarchy is multilayered and complex, and intersectionality is essential.

TERFS on the other hand seem to decide everything on whether you have a vagina or not. While there is definitely some forms of oppression that affect ONLY cisgender women with functioning reproductive organs, TERFs are acting like you can’t tick a single box on the privilege checklist, when they probably tick off several themselves, generally being white and middle class and in communities that shelter them to some degree. I’ve never read a good explanation as to why male socialisation, or the possession of a vagina decides EVERYTHING, especially when there are some women raised more like boys and some women who do not have functioning reproductive organs(or are intersex). I reject the universality of female experience as this spiritual concept while you reject any sort of spiritual concept associated with womanhood in transgenderism. Neither one of course should be taken at face value, since they’re both quite unscientific. At least I can admit that on my side, though.

Instead of trying to “Educate” me, spend some time on this site, which deconstructs a lot of the pseudo-feminist notions than TERFs uphold and answers many of your questions.

It’s good reading for anyone, and debunks a lot of the points you use there. When I get the time, I’ll go through some of your own essays and see what I can do, but understand that I am very, very worn out and a little traumatised from dealing with Cathy Brennan and her ilk, so if I don’t engage you, it’s not because I lack the intellectual capacity, but as someone with BPD on top of all my other issues, it’s bad for my health. Your friends are abusive and you need to learn that, most transwomen are not in as stable a position as the average TERF and are more likely to have past traumas as a result of their status(as opposed to TERFs who consider PIV rape…); TERFs and exclusive second wavers have had such a destructive effect on things like trans healthcare, there is a very real death toll and it is extremely privileged and ignorant to prioritise the right of prejudiced ciswomen to an exclusive space in light of that - we’re not the ones who owe cisfeminists ANYTHING, much like with WoC and white feminists(and let’s face it, we’re talking about the same thing and generally the same people here). They treated us like shit for so long and people have died as a result of their campaigns.

Break free, sister, and don’t buy into their toxicity. What they represent is not feminism; it’s not even radical feminism. 

Could you please read some of my personal writings about my own transition before you make assumptions about my motivations and my “self-hate?” Here is a start. Or this note (and its links) which I wrote to Kinsey/hexgoddess/genderbitch when she was making similar accusations against me.

You are male. Just like I am. That’s just biology. Unlike you, I love myself enough to accept that as a fact of reality. I don’t like being male, so I took steps to change my body to look less male. That’s pretty much the definition of “trans”.

Good luck working through your issues. I’m happy to talk any time via pm or reblogs. But please read my personal writing about my own transition first! Maybe you’ll find something in it that will resonate with you. Cristan is an angry and delusional person on a vendetta, who spreads a lot of lies and mistruths; I really don’t think that’s what’s going to help you.

Best wishes.

(Reblogged from crystallineprincess)


knowing that trans women are male is now grounds for murder

yes, we know you are male because you act like a violent murderous asshole male who publicly screams about wanting to kill women who say “no” to males/transwomen

You’re making a quite convincing argument for trans women to not be included in feminism, as you’re advocating murder for women who don’t please your ego

Wrong, I think you exist and I think you’re an asshole

Get therapy, now

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

ok, wow, this get’s worse, this person who feels empowered enough to publicly discuss murdering women with a San Francisco Council member, is a well educated, professional person who is also involved in their local politics. If this person identified as a man and not as a woman, would it also be acceptable for them to propose murdering women who they have political disagreements with? is that where we are at now?

damn, i used to fear woman hating conservatives who want to control women’s bodies, and silence them and not allow women to meet and organize with out males gaining political power and now I fear women hating liberals who want to control women’s bodies, and silence them and not allow women to meet and organize with out males if those males identify as women gaining political power.

Same damn thing, both groups are about male supremacy and using male violence to control women

To my fellow trans women: this kind of behavior is NEVER ok! It doesn’t matter if you think someone else “started it”. It’s up to us to END IT!

PLEASE tell other trans women: activism that involves making death threats against other women is NEVER OK! If you tacitly encourage this kind of behavior, or use a bunch of pomo words like “transmisogyny” to justify it, you are advocating violence against women, end of.

Honestly, how can we possibly still be having this conversation?

#NoMoreDeathThreats #NotInMyName

(Reblogged from plansfornigel)


Dana McCallum and the trans community’s priorities


**trigger warning: rape**

So,(CW: rape, misgendering, transphobia) this stuff came out.

I wasn’t familiar with McCallum before reading about this case. The main commentary I’m seeing from the trans community is not anything about male violence and the reality that this community not only includes abusers,…

(why am I touching this? why am I touching this? I really shouldn’t but oh well)

firstly, I am appalled by this, and would entirely condemn her to whatever punishment the court saw fit to hand down, if I in any way though retributive justice was worth a fuck. 

however, I do find it somewhat interesting how this is being reported:

while there is the notable victim blaming etc. There is noticeably more backlash towards Dana, the entirety of it transmisogynistic, than there normally is in cases of rape. 

I am not familiar with Dana, and am somewhat suspicious of the line ‘considers himself a “male lesbian”’. I am not sure who is assigning which gendered terms where. I would make the point that, even if you don’t care about the trans kids who see every report written like this, I’m not entirely sure why its necessary to do so. 

the transmisogyny throughout the article is telling. I am somewhat amused by the irony that the TERFs are parading this as concrete proof that all trans women are rapists and murderers at heart, while failing to see that the determination with which they go about othering her will inevitably make it much easier for people to believe that rapists are notably weird, different, and not normal.

Leaving aside the damage to trans people from above (since that is clearly not viewed as important here) it is much more likely to be a step back, rather than a step forward for dismantling rape culture, to attack her for her trans-ness.

and as a random point, I find it somewhat worrying that someone decided to add the word cis in there, yet chose to define it as “not trans and female”. I’m not entirely sure how such a definition got in; I’m going to assume the writer was a man and is just really keen on being seen as the golden standard and thus label free.

and as a final disclaimer (I imagine no-one actually cares though) I choose to oppose Dana entirely, am disgusted by her and ashamed that she would claim to speak for trans people. I do suspect, however, that she will be found guilty, when so many men accused of rapes aren’t, and would suggest that it’s due to transmisogyny rather than any sort of sudden shift towards condemning rape.

Just fyi, Dana McCallum was referred to as a “male who identifies as a lesbian” in the gendertrender article because that’s exactly what Dana is: a male who identifies as a lesbian. Trans women are male.

In fact, you are reblogging from two trans women (myself and mindergenfield) who are both in touch enough with reality to acknowledge this fact. Furthermore, we both believe that it will be helpful to younger trans women to acknowledge reality as they pursue transition. The transgender political line about “penis is female” is a sure way to set a young trans woman up for heartbreak, because it conflicts with the thinking of 95% of people in the world, is factually incorrect/delusional, and encourages unrealistic expectations both about our own bodies, and our social roles as trans women. Furthermore, “penis is female” undermines women’s struggle against sex-based oppression - that is, this strain of transgender ideology is inherently anti-feminist.

In this rape case, the fact that Dana is male is completely the point: rape is the “violent insertion of a male’s penis into a female’s vagina against the female’s will”. According to the police reports and witness testimony, that is exactly what happened here. There is nothing “transmisogynistic” about pointing out that Dana’s maleness is key here: actual domestic violence by actual (female) lesbians works in very different ways. The only difference between Dana raping his ex and any other man raping his ex is that Dana takes hormones and requests to be referred to as “she”.

I generally avoid “misgendering” other trans women on my blog, but when trans women act in uniquely male-pattern ways to injure females, they kinda lose their “womanhood” card. No compromise. We need to set boundaries on our community, and physical and sexual violence against women needs to be a reason for exclusion. Dana acted in a way unique to men. He made his bed, now he has to sleep in it. He has already demonstrated that he will rape women, so it would be insane to put him in a women’s prison. He can have fun fist-bumping with his rapist bros in the men’s wing. :/

(Reblogged from seraphiana)

Anonymous asked: take care of yourself dear! nothing is more important than your health, if fighting with these people is harmful to your mental health, take a tumblr break. <3 we love you snowflake!

Thanks anon! I love all my thoughtful readers!

Anonymous asked: Obviously it's perfectly cool that petition organizer Hollis Proffitt is licking a machete in his profile picture on the very same page...

Fuck, I totally missed that the first time. Read about the petition here if you’ve missed this.

Dear trans women and “cis” allies: why are we consistently supporting overtly violent trans activists? Not to mention, why does a trans woman who says she is Quaker (committed to non-violence) pose for a photo licking a machete?

If you disagree with someone’s words, that NEVER makes death threats ok, NO MATTER WHAT! We were all supposed to learn this in kindergarten. Seriously, what is wrong with this community?!?!



It’s so fucking false to say that radical feminists are transphobic. I guess you could say we’re transgendered, late-transitioning, MAAB-phobic.

Radical feminism have no problem with trans men. There is nothing wrong with FAAB people transitioning, other than that it reinforces the idea that gender is innate and a positive force, rather than a crippling one. And we don’t really have a problem with assimilated transsexual people, either. 

It’s just so gross being called a transphobic bitch or a cunt or whatever because it fucking breaks my heart what society has done to trans* people. They suffer the same agony that women do. They are punished for the same gender nonconforming behavior that radical feminists are punished for. I get called ‘sir’ and shit all the time since I cut off my hair, I get ‘misgendered’ often. But it’s not because they’re transphobic that they call me ‘him’ and ‘he’ and ‘sir’. It’s because I’m not conforming to their gender expectations. We experience dysphoria, too. I think you would be hard pressed to find a short, skinny man or a tall, fat woman that didn’t experience some amount of body dysphoria sometimes, especially in the west. I went to vigils for dead trans women, beaten to death because they didn’t behave how the patriarchy wanted them to behave, left for dead because as far as the patriarchy is concerned, better dead than a gender traitor. Every time I went to school and one of my trans friends got beaten up, it made me sick. Every time one of my girlfriends got cussed out for not looking the way men expect women to look, it made me sick.

I was really good friends with a genderqueer person, and they had a trans boyfriend. They would post stuff like how it was ‘cultural appropriation’ for a cisgendered, heterosexual woman to cut her hair short, because that was reserved for ‘queer’ people. 

I want this gender shit to stop. I don’t want anymore trans people to die because they don’t look the way the patriarchy wants them to look. I don’t want anymore trans people to be denied housing or medical attention as a punishment for not following the rules the patriarchy has laid out for us. I want it to stop, I want it to stop now. I want everybody to be able to wear ‘clothes’, not men’s clothes or women’s clothes, just fucking clothes. I want everybody to wear what they want. I want a person’s sex to have nothing to do with their behavior or their outward presentation or the classes they are encouraged to take in college. I want women and men to be engineers and homemakers. I want this patriarchal demand that men prove themselves from infancy with violence to stop.

But every time some late-transitioning, pre-op trans woman puts on heels and a dress and lipstick and grows their hair out and then calls themselves a woman, we lose something. We’re told that this is womanhood. Womanhood is heels and dresses and lipstick and long hair. And it means the next little girl that doesn’t want that has to be a boy, because that’s what being a woman is. And so when little girls grow up seeing trans women insisting they understand womanhood, she thinks to herself that she must not understand womanhood, because that’s not how she understands it to be. And so she grows up thinking she’s wrong and ugly, and that she must be a boy. And she cuts out her womb and her ovaries and removes her breasts because she’s desperate to find somewhere that will want her, that will accept her. How can a woman demand that the patriarchy leave womanhood to her? How can a man demand that the patriarchy leave manhood to him? 

Sex-related dysphoria is one thing entirely, and it’s completely different from the gender theory proposed by trans activists. 

I just don’t get why people don’t think it would be easier, better, nicer for everybody if we just abolished restrictive, prescriptive gendered behavior sets all together. And when we say people wouldn’t be transgendered, we don’t want to get rid of those people. We want them to flourish in a world that doesn’t punish them for wearing what they like and using makeup how they like and pursuing careers that interest them. 

But this bullshit calling us TERFs and fake feminists is a silencing tactic by late-transitioning autogynephiles, using the body and gender dysphoria of young activists to provide social shelter for their fetishes. We’re on the same damn side but these men, these misogynists are using trans people, especially young trans activists, to do their dirty work for them. You’re damn right Cathy Brennan outs them. They would rather throw their transsexual sisters under the bus to make room for their fetishization of women than accept that womanhood is more than frills and a high-pitched voice. How many transsexual women are on tumblr that are accused of being transphobic for asking for a higher standard of womanhood than “because I feel like it”? Auntyorthodox, transcultist and snowflakespecial are constantly accused of being transphobic, even though they are trans women! What do trans activists think that means? Do you think you have a healthy relationship with Sophia Banks and other trans activists like her? Do you think she’s advocating something that’s healthy to the trans community, or is harmful to the trans community? Do you really think radical feminists don’t want you to have housing or clothing or medical care? Most of us were liberal feminists first. I know I’ve donated money to so many top surgeries and calls for binders and hormone therapy, I literally can’t remember. I’ve opened my house to trans people fleeing abusive families and home lives. I do not hate trans people. I want them to flourish. I want them to be happy. But this poisonous gender theory trans activists (most of whom, I will say again, are late-transitioning, pre-op trans women) push on us is not helping anybody. It is a temporary bandage for a single person to use to ‘fix’ themselves. 

To me, this problem is like cancer. In fact, it seems to have a lot in common with cancer. People are suffering, and they, rightfully so, want relief from that suffering. They will take relief from whoever finds a way to relieve it. Those people that are offering a way out are offering one method. They tell you, “Do this stuff! Have this surgery! Take these drugs! This is the only way you can end the suffering.” And so trans people take what’s offered. Of course they do. Anybody would. They tell you you need to fix yourself. They are telling you that you are wrong. You are not wrong. There is nothing wrong with you. You are not the problem here, young trans people. These people want you to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars ‘fixing’ yourself. That is expensive, and it is making somebody a lot of money. Do you really trust the people that you’re writing checks to to make the best decisions for your physical and mental health?

But what would really stop the problem? What would prevent the problem? A change to the way we function as a society. A change of our social priorities. You can cure cancer by pumping poison into people, by burning and slashing in the hopes you end their suffering, and you might cure cancer in a handful of people (either way, somebody’s gonna make a lot of money, and it’s not the person suffering). But if you want to end cancer, you have to force companies to stop dumping toxins in water. You have to make healthy, fresh food a national priority. You have to crack down on pollution, you have to force companies to remove toxic chemicals from makeup and hair care products. 

That is what radical feminists are trying to do. We are trying to remove the toxic environment that allows gender dysphoria to fester. 

And we’re asking you, young trans activists, who do you think really has your best interests at heart? These late-transitioning autogynephiles, or the people that are trying to make it so no little girl or boy feels wrong in the skin they’re in ever again?

reblogging for posterity. the-female-condition, i miss you!

(Reblogged from unapologeticradfem)

Anonymous asked: You have to deal with a hell of a lot of stupidity. How can you stomach calmly explaining Freshman biology to people over and over?

It gets super old, believe me! Trying to figure out ways to fight burnout right now. :/

Anonymous asked: The case that's going around where most transwomen are concerned about misgendering is eerily close to home. I was molested by my brother who came out as a transwoman about a year ago & when I opened up about it, the trans community was more concerned with how I labeled them, not that I was abused for 3 years.

Hi anon, I’m very sorry about your situation. I definitely care a lot more about you than about your sibling’s feels!

Whether or not he has sex dysphoria, he used his position as a male to hurt you in a way that is very specifically a way that males hurt females.

Just like Dana McCallum raping his wife by violently inserting his penis into her vagina against her will has everything in common with the rapes of women by men that happen every day, and nothing in common with domestic violence among (female) lesbian couples.

Best wishes.